Victims, Victims, Everywhere

Pretty sure that's K.O. right there.

Time couldn't have been worse, especially during the hots of the #YesAllWomen trend on the Internet thanks to Elliot Rodger and his warped sense of reality. Alas, I'm not here to discuss specifically about either events, but to relate to you my personal stories of how the problems of our society (or world to be precise) wind up affecting normal relationships and place unnecessary hostilities between innocent parties. *DISCLAIMER: I do not know everything that happened to the individuals that will be mentioned here in this post, but it's safe to say they don't know everything that happened to me either. **WARNING: post is obviously overgeneralized.

It has been a few years since the events occurred, so I feel comfortable discussing them. I returned to BYU the summer of 2010 after my mission. I decided to dwell in Wyview as I had during freshman year. I was glad to get back into the swing of things. Of course, that included socializing, social media, etc. One day, my roommate thought it would be funny to update my Facebook status to something along the lines of "I have the biggest crush on the girl across the street". Normally, I find it funny. The funniness only lasted before my neighbor informed me that one of the girls actually thought it was referring to her and started saying things such as "I hope it's not me" and some other possibly not-so-kind things I won't write here. I didn't do anything about it because I figured no harm done.

Truth be told, I didn't know her very well. I vaguely recall doing a slow dance with her at one of the BYU dances and she happened to be in my ward that summer. Just a silly misunderstanding. That is, until someone overestimated her own worth and pretended that she was being eyed on by someone she barely knows; instead of the other way around. What did I do? Nothing. Simply never talk to her, even today.

April of 2011 was another time when I felt I was unjustly judged because of the imagination (or lack of logic) of some women's heads. Those who knew me were aware of my busy schedule. I hop between work and school with plenty of pit stops in the HBLL (the main library at BYU). At the time, I recently got out of a relationship and was more than happy to talk to anyone I recognize in order to not think about her (on a side note, we did make up eventually, so that's good :) ).

There was one woman, who I home taught freshman year, that I started to bump into frequently and became acquainted with her younger sister. The problem started when I received a Facebook message, around finals week, from her younger sister stating that the older sister is creeped out because they believe I'm stalking her and made it clear that she's interested in another man. She "politely" asked me to stop seeing her sister.

What is wrong with this picture?

1. I was a regular at the HBLL. The fact that I didn't bump into them until April suggests they are bandwagon library goers who only utilize the facility during major examinations such as finals.
2. I was also recently out of a relationship and was in no mood to start again.
3. The fact that they don't see me after that message is because the semester was over NOT because they were right about being stalked, etc. My spring/summer schedules are vastly different from normal semesters. I left town with Ammon on a road trip afterwards.

There are more examples of these scenarios even after 2011. What's my point? Yes, women have anxieties when it comes to abuses and violences because they experience them more often than men. To the point where fear can become unrighteous judgment to those around them, stunting them not only spiritually, socially, but emotionally. What can we do to change that besides teaching people correct principles and hope they govern themselves? NOTHING. The fact everyone has choices in how to proceed in dealing with others makes it difficult to overhaul anything,.

Dangers are out there. This is why the Savior counseled us to be as wise as serpents but harmless as doves (Matthew 10:16). 

Random 30-second Google searches:
[A quick search shows about 20% of women (about 31 million if using 314 million as US population and simply use 50% as cutoff) have experienced rape, and their various forms, in the USA. It will also indicate about 4.5% (about 7 million) of men committed rapes in the USA, which is roughly the same number for men who were raped by women. Then, there's the uncommon men raping men at about 1.5% (about 4 million). When I mesh all these numbers together, I get a ratio of 3:1 when it comes to women to men raped in our country. Truth is, the actual numbers are probably higher. The good news is the majority of the crimes are committed by a minority of people. The bad news is, it is still too high.]

I don't enjoy being labeled or assumed to be someone with ill-intentions. Perhaps this isn't just a #YesAllWomen problem, but everyone's issue. I think one of the reasons why most women have higher anxiety, besides actual violence, is because of upbringing. The media reports these atrocities. Parents warn their daughters about the potential dangers. A girl has had that in the back of her mind since the day she became a teenager. As for a boy, that isn't the case. Has any guy received the same lecture about avoid being raped, etc. from their parents or heard many stories in the media about the said scenarios on men? Probably not. It isn't as common as the usual female victimized by a male, but yet, still in the millions.

With such disturbing trends, is it a wonder that we can't have normal interactions with each other? Like racism, I personally believe we would make more progress if we take an united approach versus a segregated one. If US politics hasn't taught us anything, I hope everyone realizes that when issues become "us vs. them" situations, they go nowhere.

There are those who seek progress to improve lives. There are those who seek progress to exact revenge (or push away responsibilities). Then, there are those who seek progress to bandwagon without ever actually knowing anything. Choose your side.

Your Nonexistent Self Identity

Are members of the opposite sex fawning over you like hot cake? Many may wish this is the story their love life. However, what is the more important beyond the attention-grabbing facade? For young adults (in my opinion), it is not only a time for romance and careers, but also a sojourn to chisel out the self image of who they are deep inside. WARNING: Broad generalizations ahead. Read at your own discomfort. :v

Welcome to Provo! The best, and perhaps the worst, place on Earth depending on what you are looking for in this town. Yes, I'm talking about dating. While many of us are not as fortunate (or maybe we really are) as some of the young'uns who go on merrily with their married ways before they are no longer teenagers, it is worth noting that "later" bloomers (such as myself) have been blessed with extra time to further develop our individuality.

A friend of mine started her "men fast" a few weeks back. Now what is it? Simply put, she is abstaining from dating for an extended period of time until she feels ready (or some heaven-sent angel sweeps her off her feet) to enter the game again. Reason being: she's been on dates weekly since fall of 2013. She hasn't had the time to enjoy herself and the things she love (that include things to be discovered) due to all the suitors competing for her attention. I understand some people would kill for that universal adoration, but read on.

This segways into an intriguing question. How firm do young LDS adults stand upon the testimonies coming from the bottom of their hearts versus sticking around thanks to the spiritual herd immunity provided by those around them?

Let's make a hypothetical situation. Suppose a young woman gets married at 18 and have kids asap. Her and her husband raise them to adulthood. She starts to feel her value as a person has dissipated because she considered being a mother the only worthwhile endeavor in her life. Sounds like someone you know? Perhaps your own mother?

For those of you who feel this post is unjustified, please realize I did write a post about motherhood and the sanctity thereof a while back. Plus, read the disclaimer again.

A healthy person continues to be an influence in her children's lives and see this "uplifted" burden of sacrifice as another opportunity to fine-tune her personal life/spiritual growth. Unfortunately, some eventually develop deep depression and feel worthless. I could argue that one of the reasons could be the lack of personal finesse in the younger years thanks to hasty commitment. Think of it this way, a college senior without a post-graduation plan (not even a rough draft) at the day of commencement.

Let me put it this way, what are you after we take away your friends, your family, etc.? They may have great influence on you, but they are not you. Family is important to God's plan, but doesn't amount much when you do not have personal growth. It is with several years of experience, starting with my mission, that I started to have a grasp to who I am and what my eternal personality is like. There's nothing wrong with leaning on others. There is something wrong with being perpetually dependent and not progressing.

I must admit, I'm not the best of writers. Therefore, the concept may not come across clear as it should be. I think I'm beginning to feel what Moroni was talking about when he mentions the weakness of his writing. To start, I think it'd be best if we all revisit the misadventures of Job in the Old Testament.

Until next time, this is just another expression of Art.

[Insert Incredulous Sales Pitch Here]

Tick Tock!

Hold on to your butts! There has been a change in the creative department. I'm trying out a new approach to my blogging style (or the lack thereof) and bring to you the new edition of the former Ectomenti. Not only will I dive deeper about the changes, but will also briefly reintroduce myself in THE FUTURE, and revisit some of the recurring questions surrounding my nonexistent mystique as well.

It's time for CHANGE! Especially, when I've essentially finished with schooling for the time being. However, that does not excuse me from being ever involved in the world of academia. Creative writing has always been a thing for me since end of middle school (8th grade to be precise). Unfortunately, the stress and demands of life continually bombarded me with responsibilities, which inhibited my desires to write regularly.

For those of you who have read my humble blog from the beginning, it started out as an online journal. It went from daily records to weekly updates. The trend then shifted to more topic-based musings in response to current events and/or thoughts that preoccupied my mind. The trouble was, the format was inconsistent and stale.

From now on, the first paragraph will summarize the plot of the post and will be bolded. Readers should be able to read through it within a minute. This will relieve you the pain of reading through paragraphs of fluff before understanding what I'm getting at. You may, then, decide whether or not it's worth your time to continue perusing through the rest of my post.

You may be too young if you don't recognize them.

I've changed the name of the blog to 30 Seconds to Art. For those of you who know me, you see what I did there? Part of the inspirations is because of the band pictured to the right. If you don't know them, it's a great time to get acquainted with some of the bands of the late 90s and early 2000s.

Sounds relatively simple, yes? Another goal of mine is to write moderate-sized, detailed, but concise posts. I hope I can improve my writing skills and rekindle some of hobbies that academia robbed from me. In addition, I want to be become creative enough to come up with attention-catching titles and taglines for entries in the future.

All that change while keeping my current disposition? We shall see. Until next time, adieu!

End of a Chapter

There were probably more family members than students

Well, as hard as it is for me to believe, I am basically finished with university. Technically, I don't graduate until December after my internship, but I was allowed to participate in commencement and convocation this year in April.

I didn't take any graduation selfies because I am usually not a selfie person. I've taken some photos here and there and hopefully, they'll make it to whatever social media outlet I choose later this year. My family did not attend this event because, well, it's simply inconvenient. I think I might have been upset if bachelor's degree were my formal education endgoal. However, this isn't the case as I have plans for further schooling.

What's next? The first priority is to take a break. And by take a break I mean I've taken a break and ready to start again. The focus now is to cram for the MCAT set for June 14th. Seems quick no? I'm sure the training I've had as a MLS student at BYU has given me enough study prowess to jam an obscene amount of information in a short time; courtesy of multiple weekly tests.

I also plan on taking a trip out of the country after the exam for two weeks. It may be the last time I'll visit extended family for a while. Then, I start my internship up in Murray in July, after the holiday. After that, who knows? Depending on where I receive a full-time position, I may consider either staying in Provo or moving up to Salt Lake City. The idea of moving out of state is not impossible as well. In short, I don't have a clear picture of where I stand, but I will figure out something.

The nice part is, I will have more time to update this blog this spring. Can't say the same once summer hits, though. I do believe I have some good topics to write about in the near future.

Cheers!

When Life Gives You Lemons...

Master, the tempest is raging!

When life starts to mount pressure on you, one thing is certain: stress. I don't do well under stress even though I have ways to reduce and control the symptoms. The fact BYU does not have spring break contributes to the overload. I personally believe that nothing I learn in my major is conceptually difficult, but the sheer volume of information becomes daunting when I'm already feeling tired. Fatigue eventually leads to annoyance, and annoyance generally manifests as a perpetual anger that seems to radiate from my being.

Because of that, I focus less on the other aspects of life. I feel some angst when I attempt to clear the everlasting pile of dishes, or the tub of rubbish I should have sent out last night. Granted, it would be unfair to claim my housemates do absolutely nothing.

One thing I haven't been paying as much attention is spirituality. The weekly wall of tasks has transformed me into a churchgoer versus a sojourner of discipleship. I have zero desire to dig deeper into the scriptures. Zero desire to spend more time than necessary with people in the ward. That includes activities. I always jokingly exclaim that I hate people, but can't be bothered is probably a more accurate depiction of my current situation.

When the tempest was raging, the Apostles reached out to Jesus for help (Matt. 8:24; Luke 8:24; Mark 4:38). The Lord, who spent most of His time ministering to the people, was sleeping. I imagine He could have been tired, like any of us after a long day. (Although, He was probably fearless too!) Without any hesitation, He calmed the winds and put the disciples at ease. Even in a scenario where it was inconvenient, it didn't stop the Savior from performing His duties and demonstrate His compassion for common men.

What is the lesson here? Just do it? Not exactly. I do believe I'm supposed to maintain a standard when situation doesn't allow me to improve where I already stand. Or, maybe even try a little harder than I am at the moment. There are some time consuming tasks I could do without, but I am simply too selfish to give up right now.

We shall see how things evolve. I, for one, am glad the semester will conclude in less than four weeks.

As I Go Nearer to the Edge...

Class of 2014!

...OF GRADUATION SUCKAS!!!! No, seriously, I'm basically finished with university this April. I do have an internship from July to December before I can actually receive my diploma, but all the coursework will be completed by the end of this semester. I will be walking in the commencement next month!

It's quite an accomplishment, for me, at least. I made a lot of adjustments and learned important life lessons here at BYU. My parents definitely helped me out a ton financially, but I wasn't living off the bank of mom & dad. Of my entire BYU career, I've enrolled in classes in almost every Spring and Summer Terms, except in 2013, while working around 20 hours a week during the semesters. Last summer was definitely a magical time when all my roommates and I did whatever we wanted and all we had to worry about was working 40 hours a week to save money.

I know I haven't written much recently due to the excess amount of coursework. In addition, I was sick for a little over a week, which put me in a vulnerable position. Rest assured, I have returned with more updates!

Throughout my college days, I've changed much as a person and many of my interests changed as a result. Even my outlook on life changed because of the surprises life threw at me. Many sources claim that college is when you truly discover yourself. Well, I'm not here to disprove or agree entirely to that claim, but I can list a few things I came to notice over the years.

1. I'm more or less a cynic versus pessimist; although, I do have pessimistic tendencies. To be fair, I've been more optimistic than the '07 or '10 version.
2. I have been very fortunate with roommates. I never had any weird guys that creeped me out or tried to intimidate me in any way. (Then again, maybe it's because I have a temper myself.) In fact, I've learned much from the men I've became closed associated with over the years.
3. At the end of the day, the type of woman I like turns out to be someone I can have nice conversations with over the table. However, willing to participate in contact sports is an extreme plus.
4. There was once when I was passionate about someone and it ended badly. It brought out a whole new side of me.
5. I like the idea of being a bad ass grandpa one day; hence, I work out!
6. Not getting an A in class when some people manage to do so = I am not working hard enough or working smart enough.
7. I am really not that social. Perhaps it's an age thing? I find myself comfortable with a close circle of friends or colleagues and rarely stepping out of those bounds despite the fact that my Facebook will tell you otherwise.
8. I must be resilient because many people keep telling me how my schedule is definition of insanity. Well, great! I do have some ambition for the next decade.
9. I'm retro-gamer for the most part. Sure, I do look into new games, but nothing takes away from the classics I enjoy.

There are several things I wish I could have done before graduation, but I'll just have to pick them up later.

1. Study abroad: I don't think I'll ever be able to this again unless some strange opportunity comes along in future schooling.
2. Marriage: that's what BYU is about, right? Well, that's too bad. I'll have to look elsewhere.
3. Learn a new language: it's nice to be bilingual and have a good foundation of Spanish. I do wish I was assigned to a mission where I had to pick up a new language.
4. Joined more clubs: if I had more free time and didn't have to work as much, I would have loved the idea.
5. Intramural sports: see above.

I do have a few adventures lined up right after this semester. I'll have to let y'all in on it later!

The Month of February

Les Très Riches Heures du duc de Berry février

February has always been an interesting month for me. Not only is it the shortest month of the year, it is also when I'm relatively inactive in the realm of blogging. I've wondered if it's because I'm lacking things to write about or life is simply busy during this time.

Surprisingly, this February hasn't been as cold and frosty as last year. February is an important hallmark in my life. It is my birthday month as well as the month I chose to be baptized. That was back in 2007. Through life's ups and downs, I've learned many things in my journey. Of course, my life is only starting.

Additional information: this month is my birthday!

There are so many unknowns in my immediate future. I am both excited and somewhat daunted. At the same time, I'm not really bothered by the challenges ahead. I'm not sure if that's a sign of quiet confidence or naive outlook to the turbulence ahead.

Well, I'm half way through my final semester here at BYU. With a two-month break coming up before my internship, I have much soul-searching and self improvements to do before life hits me with a hammer. After that, we shall see. Maybe quarter-life crisis will hit me. Who knows?