Your Nonexistent Self Identity

Are members of the opposite sex fawning over you like hot cake? Many may wish this is the story their love life. However, what is the more important beyond the attention-grabbing facade? For young adults (in my opinion), it is not only a time for romance and careers, but also a sojourn to chisel out the self image of who they are deep inside. WARNING: Broad generalizations ahead. Read at your own discomfort. :v

Welcome to Provo! The best, and perhaps the worst, place on Earth depending on what you are looking for in this town. Yes, I'm talking about dating. While many of us are not as fortunate (or maybe we really are) as some of the young'uns who go on merrily with their married ways before they are no longer teenagers, it is worth noting that "later" bloomers (such as myself) have been blessed with extra time to further develop our individuality.

A friend of mine started her "men fast" a few weeks back. Now what is it? Simply put, she is abstaining from dating for an extended period of time until she feels ready (or some heaven-sent angel sweeps her off her feet) to enter the game again. Reason being: she's been on dates weekly since fall of 2013. She hasn't had the time to enjoy herself and the things she love (that include things to be discovered) due to all the suitors competing for her attention. I understand some people would kill for that universal adoration, but read on.

This segways into an intriguing question. How firm do young LDS adults stand upon the testimonies coming from the bottom of their hearts versus sticking around thanks to the spiritual herd immunity provided by those around them?

Let's make a hypothetical situation. Suppose a young woman gets married at 18 and have kids asap. Her and her husband raise them to adulthood. She starts to feel her value as a person has dissipated because she considered being a mother the only worthwhile endeavor in her life. Sounds like someone you know? Perhaps your own mother?

For those of you who feel this post is unjustified, please realize I did write a post about motherhood and the sanctity thereof a while back. Plus, read the disclaimer again.

A healthy person continues to be an influence in her children's lives and see this "uplifted" burden of sacrifice as another opportunity to fine-tune her personal life/spiritual growth. Unfortunately, some eventually develop deep depression and feel worthless. I could argue that one of the reasons could be the lack of personal finesse in the younger years thanks to hasty commitment. Think of it this way, a college senior without a post-graduation plan (not even a rough draft) at the day of commencement.

Let me put it this way, what are you after we take away your friends, your family, etc.? They may have great influence on you, but they are not you. Family is important to God's plan, but doesn't amount much when you do not have personal growth. It is with several years of experience, starting with my mission, that I started to have a grasp to who I am and what my eternal personality is like. There's nothing wrong with leaning on others. There is something wrong with being perpetually dependent and not progressing.

I must admit, I'm not the best of writers. Therefore, the concept may not come across clear as it should be. I think I'm beginning to feel what Moroni was talking about when he mentions the weakness of his writing. To start, I think it'd be best if we all revisit the misadventures of Job in the Old Testament.

Until next time, this is just another expression of Art.