Overconfidence

A couple of Sundays ago, our Elder's Quorum President, Brenton, gave a talk about being lax and too comfortable as Saints as time passes. The topic is more than relevant in a YSA setting.

Typically, once you have become familiar with a routine, you naturally become less invested emotionally. When put that in a gospel perspective, it signifies an underlying danger that's waiting to happen.

The allegory Brenton gave during his talk was mountain biking. I'm sure that applies to all extreme sports. When a novice is just starting out, the said person is unlikely to perform reckless actions due to the lack of experience. However, over time, that gradually changes as the novice improves and becomes a veteran in the game. Brenton used his close to death experience to relate to a lax attitude in the journey of discipleship. He almost rammed into a tree because he was so confident that he could handle the trail by himself. Little did he know, there were things that he could not control and it resulted in a near fatal experience.

We often hear in sacrament, Sunday schools, and even our respective groups, etc. that we should pray always and read the scriptures daily. These are even commandments from the Lord Himself. As time passes and we hear the same message again and again, we became complacent, thinking that we've already got all the basics covered. In reality, we are slowly slipping away when we put more and more "I know" before "I do". It's great to have the knowledge about the gospel, but it is more important to live it.

I remember the zeal I had when I was first baptized. Over the years, I admit that I don't have the same fiery desire to always check on myself to make sure I'm doing all the basics that every member has been asked to do. That doesn't mean I'm a horrible person, but that certainly indicates I'm not doing as well as I should be. The point being, we don't want to be in a state of carnal security (2 Nephi 28:21). You see it happen in the Church quite often. This can range from that married couple who thinks their temple sealing is the end all be all of progression to some people who says they believe, but feel like it's okay to let off a little slack because they've been following the commandments for so long.

That is the wrong attitude. I find myself trying to pray earnestly and read my scriptures daily, but the limited amount of time on my hands often pushes me otherwise. Regardless, we aren't expected to run faster than we have strength (D&C 10:4). I suppose we have the tendency to either do too little or do too much at a given time. Perhaps baby steps, though as embarrassing as it is in YOUR own mind, are the best place to start.

Nobody should be judging you for the choices you make to progress towards a better you. I'll take my time and do the best I can. Remember, perfection is not the requirement in this lifetime, but it certainly feels great to know where your limit lies and push beyond it.

Lessons From Roommates: Conflicts

Looks familiar?

I'm sure y'all enjoyed last week's entry because it was the most popular and perhaps the happiest one I've ever written. Hate to disappoint you folks, but this week's topic is not as auspicious. In fact, it is the exact opposite.

I felt it was appropriate to write about this topic while we blow over the last BYU vs. Utah game for several years and listening to my 50's-60's music playlist.

I'm going to talk about a common occurrence with the people you live with: conflict. The following event happened a couple of weeks ago. I've described myself as the "angry uncle" of the house before. However, this is probably the first time I went all-out yelling at a housemate because I was sick and tired of his messiness and inconsideration. Just a spoiler, we did resolve this peacefully and everything has been running smoothly, with a few minor kinks here and there, since the confrontation.

A quick background: I'm in the MLS program here at BYU, so I'm rather busy most of the times. (Ironically, I actually sleep more than I did in previous semesters and even this past summer break.) One night, I wanted to cook some dinner and take a break from studying. Like usual, the sink had a variety of used utensils in it. I haven't complained too much about doing the dishes since I'm the person who's usually home upstairs. My two other roommates (there are actually six of us; three downstairs and three up) usually help along if I ask them too.

That very night, I planned on washing a few of those dishes and move on to dinner. Suddenly, I realized the water was filling up. We don't have a garbage disposal for our sink, so filling up was always a bad sign. I quickly moved some of the dirty stuff aside and tried to figure out what was obstructing the drain. When I did, I found...POTATO PEELS. Loads of them. Naturally, due to stress and somewhat lack of sleep, I flipped out and spent the next half an hour trying to clear the drain. I had a clear idea who was the culprit.

When the said culprit returned home, I went into rage mode. I will spare you the details of the horrible things I've said. We are guys and close friends for the most part; this tactic is not recommended for the roommate you barely know or if you are a woman with female roommates. The gist of my angry outburst was how I didn't mind washing the dishes, but I get pissed off when things get complicated because I don't have very much free time to deal with shenanigans. After insulting (truthfully) and point out every single ridiculousness he's pulled around the house plus threats of physical violence, I let him know that I was only angry because I cared and most people wouldn't bother confronting him and would simply consider him a slob or a prick in the long run.

Of course, I did apologize to him later on. I related the incident with some of my other roommates. My (second) cousin pointed out that the culprit would eventually learn since he's 22, to which I dismissed as bull crap. The Voice of Reason, however, told me how I always occupied the living room upstairs with my stuff.

To understand that comment, you would have to understand about Miller, where we lived last year. Yes, the dreaded Miller Apartments. The apartment space there were so small (for six people) that if my cousin was in the room we shared, I would essentially have no room for myself. That was not a fat joke. There was simply not enough room to maneuver unless I wanted to sit on my bed and do my homework, etc. That, has never been efficient for me.

Anyways, it would appear that I didn't break the habit when we moved into the more spacious "Pinecone". When I first heard it from that roommate, I immediately retorted with nobody in the house ever told me about it (the truth was, they probably did at some point, but I spaced). He responded he didn't want to start an  argument with me too.

I realized then, that there are many times in our lives we don't get approached or approaching others about their "annoying" behaviors. We allow a person to continue his/her little menacing with no apprehension. The result? The said person is hated by more people in the future due to the same thing. While I don't recommend going around to strangers and voice your opinions about their behaviors all the time, I do believe this apply to people we know very well.

How is this relevant? Parents these days often do this. They don't tell their children no. I'm not talking about the right and wrong. I'm talking about certain social and courtesy cues. A blog post I've read a while back touched base with similar situations where ignorance gave off the illusion that an entire city was being mean and rude to you when it's really you that's the problem. Remember the NYC stereotype? Perhaps you should read about it here.

What did I learn from this episode? Having close friends as roommates is the perfect time to find character flaws and improve. Whether it's you or your roommates, having the experience definitely allows you to take a closer examination at your own selves. For me, little realizations like this could help me with future roommate situations when I graduate and maybe even marriage.

Don't be afraid to speak out to those you are close to or love. It'll save you a lot of awkward or heated confrontations with someone else (or the above mentioned persons) later. Sometimes, it's not easy to see what you are doing is actually bothering people.

It's a Magical Week!

Ammon and Julie are now engaged!

Well, maybe not so much for me than for my wonderful roommate, Ammon. On Sept. 12, 2013, he officially proposed to the one and only Julie. We are happy for them and hope to put out more stories of them for their wedding in December.

You may be thinking: what does this has to do with me and the price of oil in the Middle East? I generally don't outline something unless it has some significance in my journey of progression. I'm not trying to be boastful or anything, but I am glad to have had a hand in this turn out, along with my other roommates and others who might have contributed to this great occasion (aside from the main protagonists in the pictures, obviously).

I won't go over the details of my conversations with Ammon before his commitment towards the wonderful lady to the left, but the gist of it goes like this:

Marriage is hard work. We can spend our whole life looking for that "perfect" person, but perfection simply does not exist (or maybe some people are that lucky and I've never heard of them). It's always going to involve work. The real question, then, is not so much about who you marry, but how much effort you are willing to put forth into the relationship to make it work. Don't get me wrong, the type of person you choose still do matter because that can either increase your workload or ease it. You marry who you think is the "perfect" companion; there's work. You marry someone who has nothing but mutual attraction for you; there's work, except there's going to be tons more of it to make it a happy marriage. This is the principle.

With that principle in mind...

When good ol' Spencer W. Kimball said that everyone can marry anyone and produce a happy marriage, he wasn't kidding. He didn't mean two persons come together and keep doing the same things they did when they were single. There are very few people, if any, that can walk into a marriage without changing their habits, problems, etc.

Perhaps one of the greatest issue with marriage today is the fact that more people are becoming selfish. More and more people want to stay the way they are and expect the other person to accommodate their lifestyles. Or, there's a bump in the road; a challenge and they simply give up. That simply won't work. Maybe you should ask the people in stable marriages about how they kept theirs working. Divorce is never the answer unless abuse and life-threatening situations are involved. Personally, I think I've picked up a few tips for the time I'm at that stage of life.

You've gained Karma!

It's ironic that I'm talking about marriage when I'm single and not dating anyone (for the moment). Regardless, through this little episode, I've gained karma!

The First Week: A Quick Rerview

The campus is alive again!

A series events led to a rather inspirational realization this week, but since it's the start of the school year, I felt it's probably better to give a brief synopsis of my semester. This way, you'll have a better perspective to the things I will write about for the rest of the school year.

Due to my insane schedule in the last year of the medical laboratory science program, I'm limiting myself to four to eight posts per month. However, this past summer, I've made a goal to write meaningful posts instead of mere summaries all the time, so I won't necessarily meet the minimum four posts each month.

I have two exams each week! This may sound ridiculous, but it's TRUE! I knew what I was getting into when I signed up for my major. In addition to that, I'm in class from 08:00 to 18:00 Monday through Thursday with anywhere from two to three hours of break in between. I'll spend at least three hours each day in the labs. Fortunately, I like all my courses. It is just daunting to remember all the facts for each week's examinations. Perhaps the only saving grace is that the things I'm learning are not super difficult concepts.

As much as my department discourages me working 17 hours a week, I have no choice if I were to support myself. I would rather not be in the red for the next four months. At least I got a raise again, so that should supplement some of the expenses for the next few months until the Holidays hit.

Provo Temple

I finished this week with a rare excursion to the temple. My roommates and I figured that we won't be able to attend the temple regularly when we saw our schedules. It was a soothing experience for me. Of course, the decision to go to the temple was met with some interesting confrontations the night before on Thursday. Luckily, my roommates and I turned a negative experience into a constructive one. I'll elaborate on it in the next entry, hopefully.

When I came out from the temple, I beheld the Utah Lake. I've forgotten how beautiful the lake looks when sunlight is shining through the clouds, creating rays piercing through the sky. A side note, the Utah Lake itself is actually quite dirty, but this just shows how participating in temple activities can shift your perception more positively.

For a first week of school, it was packed. I feel as if I'm behind already. Nevertheless, I know I can get through it. The long soul-searching I've done throughout the summer and the spiritual example of a great friend on her mission has changed my own perspective for the better. I believe it has been a progressive year so far.

It's the Little Things

Yeah, I work here.

As school draws near, I found myself working for 40 hours a week at my current employment. Many of you already know that I work for BYU Broadcasting part-time. Since the migration and consolidation of its multiple departments, BYUB continued to improve its operations and products.

That's not the reason why I'm tired, though. I'm tired because I'm not getting enough sleep. While it's probably easy for me to take a quick nap overnight, somehow that wouldn't end up ethical in the long run. Luckily, the trend will only last for one more week as another semester's new schedule will take over.

I am also participating in New Student Orientation (NSO) again for fall as a Y-group Leader. Due to the understaffed situation during the interim period, finding replacements for your shifts isn't as easy as it normally would. Thus, I am ready for the total lack of sleep next week as I tackle overnight shifts and NSO simultaneously.

That's what it feels like every time!

Why did I do this to myself? There are several reasons. Let's just say whenever when I have to collect serum samples from the mice in Dr. B's lab, I feel like I've lost karma. So, to make myself feel better, I go off volunteering for some things. It's a personal quirk. I don't have any reason to stand behind it beyond that, so there's no debate here.

Fatigue can make me feel unappreciative for the things I have in my life. Fortunately for me, I have housemates that remind me what matters in life. Sometimes it's the little things. Coming back from grocery shopping, I distinctly remember sitting down at the kitchen table and just have the overwhelming feeling of gladness for being able to put food on the table.

Which comes to the point: my life has been pretty good and it can become better if I choose to because I'm currently living in a situation where this is possible with a little effort. I understand sometimes we don't share that sentiments or even the belief that there's anything to be thankful for, but it is a principle that has been passed down through many cultures for who knows how long.

King Benjamin talked about thanking God for all that we have during his discourse (Mosiah 2). More prominently, the account of Luke when Jesus healed the lepers and only one expressed his gratitude towards the Savior (Luke 17:16-17). Like it or not, there aren't many things in this life that's made possible through our own strength alone.

This may come across as insignificant to some of you, but try it for once. Be grateful about something, to whatever deity you believe in, or at the very least, recognizing a convenience you've had that a good portion of the people on this planet don't. Maybe you'll see life differently that way.

I hate comparing my life to less fortunate people just to make me feel good, but there are times we need reality checks. This is especially true for someone like me who lives in the United States where there are less excuses to blame our poor performances and lack of personal accountability.

Being thankful for what you have will hopefully make you appreciate the things around you a little more.

I remember now: we enter into His gate with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful unto Him, and bless His name (Psalm 100:4).

Sometimes Needed Self Evaluation

What a summer! It baffles me somewhat to think four months came and went just like that. It felt like yesterday when summer break started for me and my housemates. I can hardly believe this will be my last school year here at BYU. It's about time, really. Time to move on to other things in life. Since it is also my half birthday today, I figured I should contemplate about my life for a bit. After all, having a quarter-life crisis is the big thing in the 21st century.

Despite of all that I did this summer--household projects, trips, etc.--I still felt somewhat unproductive. It's perplexing at first because I even kept up an exercise routine and even worked for free in the research lab (thanks a lot 29-hour rule that prevents me from working another on campus job). Then again, my sleep schedule has been so sporadic, the fatigue gets in the way of optimal function. It is difficult to appreciate all that you do (or have) when you are left wondering why you've committed to make your life uneasy.

Remember this?

As part of my summer goals, I've also implemented progress for spirituality. Sometimes, the secular world just doesn't make you feel good after prolonged exposure. I took some time and revisited the Attribute Activity found in Preach my Gospel. I'm sure most of you who have served a mission understand what I'm talking about. Oh, and it's on page 126 in case you are not sure where to look for it.

I'll admit, I actually uses this page to reevaluate myself from time to time to see where I stand, and I try to improve myself over time. The efficiency of that is another story.

I don't want to sound pretentious or prideful, but watching one of my best friends on a mission makes me want to be a better person because of the progress I've witnessed thus far in her character and development. It's not a competition, but it's always nice to have a bar, a standard, to set for short-term or even immediate long-term goals.

Granted, I've been off my mission for over three years and the spiritual high has not climaxed in comparison since then. I know I am still a better person than before the whole experience. Going through my scribbles and whatnot, there's still a long journey ahead of me. Fortunately, there has been some improvement along the way.

Discipleship is a journey in itself. We are commanded to be perfect, even as our Lord is perfect (3 Nephi 12:48). I'll probably feel like a lesser man until the day I can carve out something for myself, but I have no doubt that I can achieve whatever necessary through His blessings. Patience is a virtue (Romans 8:25).

Till I blog again,

Adieu

Cleanliness

A clean kitchen...for now.

I've been busy with other things lately, so I haven't spent as much time documenting my life and thoughts over on the Internet. Fortunately, I still do mini-snippets of journal entries on my phone since I last mentioned the Day One app.

As far as work and studying goes, I work for 40 hours a week for the rest of the month. I delayed taking the MCAT because I didn't feel ready, but got lucky and received more review materials instead. Needless to say, the new found sources contain information I did not know before; therefore, gladness filled my heart.

My other venture was attempting to finish Fallout: New Vegas, which I managed after putting in 150+ hours in the past six weeks I owned it. It's a once-in-a-while hobby, so don't judge. I certainly don't look down on the other things you do for fun. Since I finished it, I am certain the gaming streak won't return until this winter break.

As August presses on, school is inevitably closing in. We will have a late start this year, and this is supplemented by a much shorter winter break at the end of the semester. Like most housing management, my housemates and I received the lovely notice of a cleaning check a while back. We aren't too worried because we keep the place clean for the most part.

I did some cleaning in the upstairs kitchen this afternoon. I remembered the days on my mission when I moved to a new area, I always clean the place out first. This was followed by the area books. Back in high school, I wasn't the biggest about cleaning up around me, especially when they were chores required of me. However, I must note that most of the filth I had to deal with back home was dust, which seemed trivially menial compared to the clutter that was around the house.

Anyways, I dislike a dirty environment. I firmly believe the saying "cleanliness is next to godliness". I'm not going to pretend that I expect my current dwelling with my friends to be spotless and sparkling new, but there's still a standard to the amount of clutter and filth I can stand before I take action and "convince" one of two of the guys to assist me in the matter. After all, I am the "angry uncle" in the house.

This leads to a talk given by President Gordon B. Hinckley back in 1996. It is said that those who bore the vessels of the Lord needed to be clean (D&C 133:5). This not only includes outwardly appearance, but also our conduct, mind, etc. Obviously, it's not always possible to remain physically clean. The point being the principle of that desire, that drive, that allows us to pursue that cleanliness through the atonement of the Savior.

If you are interested, you can find the talk here.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. A lot of it has to do with the future. I don't have fears for the future per se. I do, however, have wondered how I would handle certain situations if I were to have a career, family, spouse, etc. Well, imagination can only get you so far, but I do believe having an idea is totally better than jumping into the unknown all of the sudden when the time arises.

From my little cleaning experience today, I know what I want my living quarters to be like down the road. An outward manifestation that should also include an inward devotion. I remember why I made the choices I've chosen and I think they have worked out pretty well so far thanks to divine providence.

It's near the middle of August. It is my goal to also share my thoughts with the Internet at least four times a month. I believe I can reach that goal. Thank you all who have been reading my musings thus far. There will be more to come!