Victims, Victims, Everywhere

Pretty sure that's K.O. right there.

Time couldn't have been worse, especially during the hots of the #YesAllWomen trend on the Internet thanks to Elliot Rodger and his warped sense of reality. Alas, I'm not here to discuss specifically about either events, but to relate to you my personal stories of how the problems of our society (or world to be precise) wind up affecting normal relationships and place unnecessary hostilities between innocent parties. *DISCLAIMER: I do not know everything that happened to the individuals that will be mentioned here in this post, but it's safe to say they don't know everything that happened to me either. **WARNING: post is obviously overgeneralized.

It has been a few years since the events occurred, so I feel comfortable discussing them. I returned to BYU the summer of 2010 after my mission. I decided to dwell in Wyview as I had during freshman year. I was glad to get back into the swing of things. Of course, that included socializing, social media, etc. One day, my roommate thought it would be funny to update my Facebook status to something along the lines of "I have the biggest crush on the girl across the street". Normally, I find it funny. The funniness only lasted before my neighbor informed me that one of the girls actually thought it was referring to her and started saying things such as "I hope it's not me" and some other possibly not-so-kind things I won't write here. I didn't do anything about it because I figured no harm done.

Truth be told, I didn't know her very well. I vaguely recall doing a slow dance with her at one of the BYU dances and she happened to be in my ward that summer. Just a silly misunderstanding. That is, until someone overestimated her own worth and pretended that she was being eyed on by someone she barely knows; instead of the other way around. What did I do? Nothing. Simply never talk to her, even today.

April of 2011 was another time when I felt I was unjustly judged because of the imagination (or lack of logic) of some women's heads. Those who knew me were aware of my busy schedule. I hop between work and school with plenty of pit stops in the HBLL (the main library at BYU). At the time, I recently got out of a relationship and was more than happy to talk to anyone I recognize in order to not think about her (on a side note, we did make up eventually, so that's good :) ).

There was one woman, who I home taught freshman year, that I started to bump into frequently and became acquainted with her younger sister. The problem started when I received a Facebook message, around finals week, from her younger sister stating that the older sister is creeped out because they believe I'm stalking her and made it clear that she's interested in another man. She "politely" asked me to stop seeing her sister.

What is wrong with this picture?

1. I was a regular at the HBLL. The fact that I didn't bump into them until April suggests they are bandwagon library goers who only utilize the facility during major examinations such as finals.
2. I was also recently out of a relationship and was in no mood to start again.
3. The fact that they don't see me after that message is because the semester was over NOT because they were right about being stalked, etc. My spring/summer schedules are vastly different from normal semesters. I left town with Ammon on a road trip afterwards.

There are more examples of these scenarios even after 2011. What's my point? Yes, women have anxieties when it comes to abuses and violences because they experience them more often than men. To the point where fear can become unrighteous judgment to those around them, stunting them not only spiritually, socially, but emotionally. What can we do to change that besides teaching people correct principles and hope they govern themselves? NOTHING. The fact everyone has choices in how to proceed in dealing with others makes it difficult to overhaul anything,.

Dangers are out there. This is why the Savior counseled us to be as wise as serpents but harmless as doves (Matthew 10:16). 

Random 30-second Google searches:
[A quick search shows about 20% of women (about 31 million if using 314 million as US population and simply use 50% as cutoff) have experienced rape, and their various forms, in the USA. It will also indicate about 4.5% (about 7 million) of men committed rapes in the USA, which is roughly the same number for men who were raped by women. Then, there's the uncommon men raping men at about 1.5% (about 4 million). When I mesh all these numbers together, I get a ratio of 3:1 when it comes to women to men raped in our country. Truth is, the actual numbers are probably higher. The good news is the majority of the crimes are committed by a minority of people. The bad news is, it is still too high.]

I don't enjoy being labeled or assumed to be someone with ill-intentions. Perhaps this isn't just a #YesAllWomen problem, but everyone's issue. I think one of the reasons why most women have higher anxiety, besides actual violence, is because of upbringing. The media reports these atrocities. Parents warn their daughters about the potential dangers. A girl has had that in the back of her mind since the day she became a teenager. As for a boy, that isn't the case. Has any guy received the same lecture about avoid being raped, etc. from their parents or heard many stories in the media about the said scenarios on men? Probably not. It isn't as common as the usual female victimized by a male, but yet, still in the millions.

With such disturbing trends, is it a wonder that we can't have normal interactions with each other? Like racism, I personally believe we would make more progress if we take an united approach versus a segregated one. If US politics hasn't taught us anything, I hope everyone realizes that when issues become "us vs. them" situations, they go nowhere.

There are those who seek progress to improve lives. There are those who seek progress to exact revenge (or push away responsibilities). Then, there are those who seek progress to bandwagon without ever actually knowing anything. Choose your side.

Your Nonexistent Self Identity

Are members of the opposite sex fawning over you like hot cake? Many may wish this is the story their love life. However, what is the more important beyond the attention-grabbing facade? For young adults (in my opinion), it is not only a time for romance and careers, but also a sojourn to chisel out the self image of who they are deep inside. WARNING: Broad generalizations ahead. Read at your own discomfort. :v

Welcome to Provo! The best, and perhaps the worst, place on Earth depending on what you are looking for in this town. Yes, I'm talking about dating. While many of us are not as fortunate (or maybe we really are) as some of the young'uns who go on merrily with their married ways before they are no longer teenagers, it is worth noting that "later" bloomers (such as myself) have been blessed with extra time to further develop our individuality.

A friend of mine started her "men fast" a few weeks back. Now what is it? Simply put, she is abstaining from dating for an extended period of time until she feels ready (or some heaven-sent angel sweeps her off her feet) to enter the game again. Reason being: she's been on dates weekly since fall of 2013. She hasn't had the time to enjoy herself and the things she love (that include things to be discovered) due to all the suitors competing for her attention. I understand some people would kill for that universal adoration, but read on.

This segways into an intriguing question. How firm do young LDS adults stand upon the testimonies coming from the bottom of their hearts versus sticking around thanks to the spiritual herd immunity provided by those around them?

Let's make a hypothetical situation. Suppose a young woman gets married at 18 and have kids asap. Her and her husband raise them to adulthood. She starts to feel her value as a person has dissipated because she considered being a mother the only worthwhile endeavor in her life. Sounds like someone you know? Perhaps your own mother?

For those of you who feel this post is unjustified, please realize I did write a post about motherhood and the sanctity thereof a while back. Plus, read the disclaimer again.

A healthy person continues to be an influence in her children's lives and see this "uplifted" burden of sacrifice as another opportunity to fine-tune her personal life/spiritual growth. Unfortunately, some eventually develop deep depression and feel worthless. I could argue that one of the reasons could be the lack of personal finesse in the younger years thanks to hasty commitment. Think of it this way, a college senior without a post-graduation plan (not even a rough draft) at the day of commencement.

Let me put it this way, what are you after we take away your friends, your family, etc.? They may have great influence on you, but they are not you. Family is important to God's plan, but doesn't amount much when you do not have personal growth. It is with several years of experience, starting with my mission, that I started to have a grasp to who I am and what my eternal personality is like. There's nothing wrong with leaning on others. There is something wrong with being perpetually dependent and not progressing.

I must admit, I'm not the best of writers. Therefore, the concept may not come across clear as it should be. I think I'm beginning to feel what Moroni was talking about when he mentions the weakness of his writing. To start, I think it'd be best if we all revisit the misadventures of Job in the Old Testament.

Until next time, this is just another expression of Art.

[Insert Incredulous Sales Pitch Here]

Tick Tock!

Hold on to your butts! There has been a change in the creative department. I'm trying out a new approach to my blogging style (or the lack thereof) and bring to you the new edition of the former Ectomenti. Not only will I dive deeper about the changes, but will also briefly reintroduce myself in THE FUTURE, and revisit some of the recurring questions surrounding my nonexistent mystique as well.

It's time for CHANGE! Especially, when I've essentially finished with schooling for the time being. However, that does not excuse me from being ever involved in the world of academia. Creative writing has always been a thing for me since end of middle school (8th grade to be precise). Unfortunately, the stress and demands of life continually bombarded me with responsibilities, which inhibited my desires to write regularly.

For those of you who have read my humble blog from the beginning, it started out as an online journal. It went from daily records to weekly updates. The trend then shifted to more topic-based musings in response to current events and/or thoughts that preoccupied my mind. The trouble was, the format was inconsistent and stale.

From now on, the first paragraph will summarize the plot of the post and will be bolded. Readers should be able to read through it within a minute. This will relieve you the pain of reading through paragraphs of fluff before understanding what I'm getting at. You may, then, decide whether or not it's worth your time to continue perusing through the rest of my post.

You may be too young if you don't recognize them.

I've changed the name of the blog to 30 Seconds to Art. For those of you who know me, you see what I did there? Part of the inspirations is because of the band pictured to the right. If you don't know them, it's a great time to get acquainted with some of the bands of the late 90s and early 2000s.

Sounds relatively simple, yes? Another goal of mine is to write moderate-sized, detailed, but concise posts. I hope I can improve my writing skills and rekindle some of hobbies that academia robbed from me. In addition, I want to be become creative enough to come up with attention-catching titles and taglines for entries in the future.

All that change while keeping my current disposition? We shall see. Until next time, adieu!