Fatalistic Change of Plan

Don't I wish...

Well, due to the stress and things I have to do this semester, I have no motivation to try to update my blog twice a week now.  I figured it is easier to make an update each week (in other words, one step away from being completely quitting).

I've thought a lot about my life lately.  I think I have most of the academic details figured out.  I just need to put them into action and hopefully I can get to where I want.

I want to go to med school and be a doctor.  I like talking to people and feel better about myself when I can help.  Not to mention, doctors usually have good salaries.  Well, at least in this country, doctors get paid well.

I'm not sure what I want to specialize yet.  I want to do pediatrician, but I also somewhat intrigued by cardiology and anesthesiology.  I probably won't be done with it all until my mid-30s, but it's not like I have anything else to do with my life.

Look at this baby!  You are telling me girls are better?

When I said I probably will finish my residency, etc. around 35, single, and gonna buy myself a Ferrari, I was not kidding.  I can't see myself with a family, or do I ever wanted a family of my own.  Hell, I don't even go home during holidays like some of the other people around here.  When you have to pay for things yourself, it means more to me to get more money than seeing people I'll probably see for the rest of eternity (or perhaps won't).

Maybe my logic is flawed.  The truth remains that I was not brought up the way most people, especially the LDS faith, thought I was brought up in.  I felt somewhat offended when people say that me not going home is weird.  Then again, I should just keep my mouth shut.  The less people know, the better.

I don't care what anyone says, dating is overrated.  The only irony is that I still do it. I'm not sure how much I enjoy it.  I'll admit, I haven't had the best luck when it comes to it and I've done a lot of dumb things in that field.  In fact, the only relationship I've had turned out to be the one I regret.  Maybe I just haven't found the right person yet.  Unfortunately for me, I find money and prestige much more attractive than "relationships". At least I can please myself with those two things than trusting someone who may or may not be loyal to me for eternity.

Obviously, friends don't really last forever, so I'm constantly trying to make new friends.  I do get jealous of couples from time to time, though.  Then again, what's so great about it?  The people that's been known to betray me has always been those I thought I could trust.  So, what does that say about my close friends?  I keep them as close friends, but refusing to let them see every side of me.  I will not repeat the same mistake I made with she-who-will-remain-nameless.