Overconfidence

A couple of Sundays ago, our Elder's Quorum President, Brenton, gave a talk about being lax and too comfortable as Saints as time passes. The topic is more than relevant in a YSA setting.

Typically, once you have become familiar with a routine, you naturally become less invested emotionally. When put that in a gospel perspective, it signifies an underlying danger that's waiting to happen.

The allegory Brenton gave during his talk was mountain biking. I'm sure that applies to all extreme sports. When a novice is just starting out, the said person is unlikely to perform reckless actions due to the lack of experience. However, over time, that gradually changes as the novice improves and becomes a veteran in the game. Brenton used his close to death experience to relate to a lax attitude in the journey of discipleship. He almost rammed into a tree because he was so confident that he could handle the trail by himself. Little did he know, there were things that he could not control and it resulted in a near fatal experience.

We often hear in sacrament, Sunday schools, and even our respective groups, etc. that we should pray always and read the scriptures daily. These are even commandments from the Lord Himself. As time passes and we hear the same message again and again, we became complacent, thinking that we've already got all the basics covered. In reality, we are slowly slipping away when we put more and more "I know" before "I do". It's great to have the knowledge about the gospel, but it is more important to live it.

I remember the zeal I had when I was first baptized. Over the years, I admit that I don't have the same fiery desire to always check on myself to make sure I'm doing all the basics that every member has been asked to do. That doesn't mean I'm a horrible person, but that certainly indicates I'm not doing as well as I should be. The point being, we don't want to be in a state of carnal security (2 Nephi 28:21). You see it happen in the Church quite often. This can range from that married couple who thinks their temple sealing is the end all be all of progression to some people who says they believe, but feel like it's okay to let off a little slack because they've been following the commandments for so long.

That is the wrong attitude. I find myself trying to pray earnestly and read my scriptures daily, but the limited amount of time on my hands often pushes me otherwise. Regardless, we aren't expected to run faster than we have strength (D&C 10:4). I suppose we have the tendency to either do too little or do too much at a given time. Perhaps baby steps, though as embarrassing as it is in YOUR own mind, are the best place to start.

Nobody should be judging you for the choices you make to progress towards a better you. I'll take my time and do the best I can. Remember, perfection is not the requirement in this lifetime, but it certainly feels great to know where your limit lies and push beyond it.

Lessons From Roommates: Conflicts

Looks familiar?

I'm sure y'all enjoyed last week's entry because it was the most popular and perhaps the happiest one I've ever written. Hate to disappoint you folks, but this week's topic is not as auspicious. In fact, it is the exact opposite.

I felt it was appropriate to write about this topic while we blow over the last BYU vs. Utah game for several years and listening to my 50's-60's music playlist.

I'm going to talk about a common occurrence with the people you live with: conflict. The following event happened a couple of weeks ago. I've described myself as the "angry uncle" of the house before. However, this is probably the first time I went all-out yelling at a housemate because I was sick and tired of his messiness and inconsideration. Just a spoiler, we did resolve this peacefully and everything has been running smoothly, with a few minor kinks here and there, since the confrontation.

A quick background: I'm in the MLS program here at BYU, so I'm rather busy most of the times. (Ironically, I actually sleep more than I did in previous semesters and even this past summer break.) One night, I wanted to cook some dinner and take a break from studying. Like usual, the sink had a variety of used utensils in it. I haven't complained too much about doing the dishes since I'm the person who's usually home upstairs. My two other roommates (there are actually six of us; three downstairs and three up) usually help along if I ask them too.

That very night, I planned on washing a few of those dishes and move on to dinner. Suddenly, I realized the water was filling up. We don't have a garbage disposal for our sink, so filling up was always a bad sign. I quickly moved some of the dirty stuff aside and tried to figure out what was obstructing the drain. When I did, I found...POTATO PEELS. Loads of them. Naturally, due to stress and somewhat lack of sleep, I flipped out and spent the next half an hour trying to clear the drain. I had a clear idea who was the culprit.

When the said culprit returned home, I went into rage mode. I will spare you the details of the horrible things I've said. We are guys and close friends for the most part; this tactic is not recommended for the roommate you barely know or if you are a woman with female roommates. The gist of my angry outburst was how I didn't mind washing the dishes, but I get pissed off when things get complicated because I don't have very much free time to deal with shenanigans. After insulting (truthfully) and point out every single ridiculousness he's pulled around the house plus threats of physical violence, I let him know that I was only angry because I cared and most people wouldn't bother confronting him and would simply consider him a slob or a prick in the long run.

Of course, I did apologize to him later on. I related the incident with some of my other roommates. My (second) cousin pointed out that the culprit would eventually learn since he's 22, to which I dismissed as bull crap. The Voice of Reason, however, told me how I always occupied the living room upstairs with my stuff.

To understand that comment, you would have to understand about Miller, where we lived last year. Yes, the dreaded Miller Apartments. The apartment space there were so small (for six people) that if my cousin was in the room we shared, I would essentially have no room for myself. That was not a fat joke. There was simply not enough room to maneuver unless I wanted to sit on my bed and do my homework, etc. That, has never been efficient for me.

Anyways, it would appear that I didn't break the habit when we moved into the more spacious "Pinecone". When I first heard it from that roommate, I immediately retorted with nobody in the house ever told me about it (the truth was, they probably did at some point, but I spaced). He responded he didn't want to start an  argument with me too.

I realized then, that there are many times in our lives we don't get approached or approaching others about their "annoying" behaviors. We allow a person to continue his/her little menacing with no apprehension. The result? The said person is hated by more people in the future due to the same thing. While I don't recommend going around to strangers and voice your opinions about their behaviors all the time, I do believe this apply to people we know very well.

How is this relevant? Parents these days often do this. They don't tell their children no. I'm not talking about the right and wrong. I'm talking about certain social and courtesy cues. A blog post I've read a while back touched base with similar situations where ignorance gave off the illusion that an entire city was being mean and rude to you when it's really you that's the problem. Remember the NYC stereotype? Perhaps you should read about it here.

What did I learn from this episode? Having close friends as roommates is the perfect time to find character flaws and improve. Whether it's you or your roommates, having the experience definitely allows you to take a closer examination at your own selves. For me, little realizations like this could help me with future roommate situations when I graduate and maybe even marriage.

Don't be afraid to speak out to those you are close to or love. It'll save you a lot of awkward or heated confrontations with someone else (or the above mentioned persons) later. Sometimes, it's not easy to see what you are doing is actually bothering people.

It's a Magical Week!

Ammon and Julie are now engaged!

Well, maybe not so much for me than for my wonderful roommate, Ammon. On Sept. 12, 2013, he officially proposed to the one and only Julie. We are happy for them and hope to put out more stories of them for their wedding in December.

You may be thinking: what does this has to do with me and the price of oil in the Middle East? I generally don't outline something unless it has some significance in my journey of progression. I'm not trying to be boastful or anything, but I am glad to have had a hand in this turn out, along with my other roommates and others who might have contributed to this great occasion (aside from the main protagonists in the pictures, obviously).

I won't go over the details of my conversations with Ammon before his commitment towards the wonderful lady to the left, but the gist of it goes like this:

Marriage is hard work. We can spend our whole life looking for that "perfect" person, but perfection simply does not exist (or maybe some people are that lucky and I've never heard of them). It's always going to involve work. The real question, then, is not so much about who you marry, but how much effort you are willing to put forth into the relationship to make it work. Don't get me wrong, the type of person you choose still do matter because that can either increase your workload or ease it. You marry who you think is the "perfect" companion; there's work. You marry someone who has nothing but mutual attraction for you; there's work, except there's going to be tons more of it to make it a happy marriage. This is the principle.

With that principle in mind...

When good ol' Spencer W. Kimball said that everyone can marry anyone and produce a happy marriage, he wasn't kidding. He didn't mean two persons come together and keep doing the same things they did when they were single. There are very few people, if any, that can walk into a marriage without changing their habits, problems, etc.

Perhaps one of the greatest issue with marriage today is the fact that more people are becoming selfish. More and more people want to stay the way they are and expect the other person to accommodate their lifestyles. Or, there's a bump in the road; a challenge and they simply give up. That simply won't work. Maybe you should ask the people in stable marriages about how they kept theirs working. Divorce is never the answer unless abuse and life-threatening situations are involved. Personally, I think I've picked up a few tips for the time I'm at that stage of life.

You've gained Karma!

It's ironic that I'm talking about marriage when I'm single and not dating anyone (for the moment). Regardless, through this little episode, I've gained karma!

The First Week: A Quick Rerview

The campus is alive again!

A series events led to a rather inspirational realization this week, but since it's the start of the school year, I felt it's probably better to give a brief synopsis of my semester. This way, you'll have a better perspective to the things I will write about for the rest of the school year.

Due to my insane schedule in the last year of the medical laboratory science program, I'm limiting myself to four to eight posts per month. However, this past summer, I've made a goal to write meaningful posts instead of mere summaries all the time, so I won't necessarily meet the minimum four posts each month.

I have two exams each week! This may sound ridiculous, but it's TRUE! I knew what I was getting into when I signed up for my major. In addition to that, I'm in class from 08:00 to 18:00 Monday through Thursday with anywhere from two to three hours of break in between. I'll spend at least three hours each day in the labs. Fortunately, I like all my courses. It is just daunting to remember all the facts for each week's examinations. Perhaps the only saving grace is that the things I'm learning are not super difficult concepts.

As much as my department discourages me working 17 hours a week, I have no choice if I were to support myself. I would rather not be in the red for the next four months. At least I got a raise again, so that should supplement some of the expenses for the next few months until the Holidays hit.

Provo Temple

I finished this week with a rare excursion to the temple. My roommates and I figured that we won't be able to attend the temple regularly when we saw our schedules. It was a soothing experience for me. Of course, the decision to go to the temple was met with some interesting confrontations the night before on Thursday. Luckily, my roommates and I turned a negative experience into a constructive one. I'll elaborate on it in the next entry, hopefully.

When I came out from the temple, I beheld the Utah Lake. I've forgotten how beautiful the lake looks when sunlight is shining through the clouds, creating rays piercing through the sky. A side note, the Utah Lake itself is actually quite dirty, but this just shows how participating in temple activities can shift your perception more positively.

For a first week of school, it was packed. I feel as if I'm behind already. Nevertheless, I know I can get through it. The long soul-searching I've done throughout the summer and the spiritual example of a great friend on her mission has changed my own perspective for the better. I believe it has been a progressive year so far.