Once Upon a Sunday

(So, today I think I'll write a poem.)

I thought about my life today
And I decided to take some time to pray.
Sometimes I wonder what I'm fighting for
Besides the prestige and the pay.

I needed something to look forward to;
Something that'll chase away the blue.
Maybe the stress is getting to me
Since the sleep I get is far and few.

This week, I handed in many projects.
I'm not sure what the professors expect,
But I feel their timings are just really bad.
In fact, I feel like I'm in a wreck.

I still managed to go work out.
The only way to keep my sanity no doubt.
It's hard to notice the little things
When time is something you go without.

I said goodbye to Lyn this week.
She's going on a mission so to speak.
I wonder if I'll ever see her again?
Too bad time won't let me take a sneak peek.

Sometimes, I just want a good night's sleep.
The pressure makes me wanna leap.
I don't understand how others do 17+ credits.
It really makes me wanna weep.

The Spirit tells me that the future could be sweet.
Life has yet to offer me an awesome treat,
But I would have to go on if I wish to see.
For now, I consider my prayer complete.

Gentler Breeze

More like dazed...

This past week hasn't been too bad.  I'm still busy as anything, but things seem to have slowed down a bit before more tests coming up.  In other words, I have breathing room, but not too much more relaxed.

I like my classes for the most part.  There are some minor nuisances that I will not mention here.  I may have to spend a few hours trying to figure out a thing or two this week.  I can't wait until Thanksgiving break...when I can finally rest.

Other than that, the personal relationship side of things went fairly well.  I had a surprisingly pleasant phone conversation with family.  Usually, things got so stressful to the point that communication breakdowns occur frequently.  In addition, I actually spoke to my brother.  That's a first in months.  Well, that's good enough for now.

I actually liked Ammon's lesson in elders' quorum this Sunday.  Some people might have thought he came off a bit strong, but sometimes, certain things need to be said.

This week, I have a few papers to finish writing.  Also, got a lot of things to finish in the labs.  I hope everything will be done on time.  Then...there are the presentations.

I suppose I do have a few things to look forward to this week.

Low Morale

I feel like I'm dying...

It's been another week and I feel absolutely awful.  I feel like nothing went right this week.  Looking at my calendar, I find the list of things to do bigger and bigger.  Worst of all, all this doesn't help my mood.

As morale continues to decline as the semester progresses, I'm starting to think that maybe I overexerted myself this semester.  How do other people do it anyways?  I don't understand how other people take 16+ credits and somehow manage to stay on top of things.  Maybe it's because I have 7+ credits of labs.

I feel like a failure...

I may have bore my testimony in church this week, but that doesn't seem to change my cynical view very much.  Yes, I know that God has a plan for all of us.  Yes, I know that He loves me, etc.  But, is eternal life really something I want?  These are things to think about.

I feel dead and it's probably not a good thing.  I'm just disappointed...about everything.

Words of Advice

It's that time of the year again.  At the end of the 182nd Semiannual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, good stories were exchanged, words of counsel were offered, and new policies were put in place for future operations.

Many of you may or may not know, but the conference can be streamed live, or on your own time, at the main LDS website.  It is also translated in many different languages.  You don't have to believe in God or sustain the speakers as inspired to listen to some words of wisdom.

Yeah, the Conference Center

There have been some interesting changes announced this conference.  The most prominent change had to be the lowering of age for young men and young women to be eligible to serve a mission.  Watch out world!  There will be more LDS missionaries knocking at your door.  On a side note, I think this will be good for many young people, especially those who still act like they are in middle school in college.

I admit, I don't quite act like my age at 23, but I certainly don't go around doing "tool-ish" things or speak childish things.  Most of all, instigating drama that affects everyone is definitely not what I intent to do.  You'd be surprised how many young people purposely do these things.  Whether it's for attention or just plain meanness is probably debate for a another day.

The MTC expansion needs to come sooner with the influx of missionaries that will come along due to the new age requirement.  In addition, in a press conference, the Church announced that missionary stay at the MTC will be cut for one-third.  I could imagine the panic of missionaries learning a difficult language that used to be a 12-week program to making it in 9.  I should apply to be a MTC teacher.  lol

You gotta love this man!

Besides my nonsensical outlook on the inevitable change and impact the new age will affect missionary work, I did pick up a few things I thought was relevant to my life.  I generally don't write down who said what during conference because I believe that if they are all speaking through the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, we all know who the true author is and I don't think anyone would want to argue with me on that one.  Anyways, here are the thoughts I gathered throughout the conference.

• Ask a missionary - well, this is probably more for those of you out there than me chilling in Mormon circle in Provo.  You'd be surprised what these young folks can pull out of their mouths at the right moment.  I've been on both the giving and receiving end of this over the years.
• Spending time with those you love - it's not about finishing something together, but the journey itself.  Why do we do things with the anticipation of things ending?  When we do that, we miss the point and forget the reasons why we chose to take the journey together.
• Larry Echo Hawk -  is an awesome name.
• Robert C. Gay - is also an awesome name.
• On the Lord's timetable - this has been spoken so many times, but it's something we all struggle with, especially when we are at the crossroads of life.  Have a goal, and live a day at a time while you inch towards that goal.
• Never forget the Atonement - The Lord went through loads of crap just so you could still change without suffering 100% of the penalties.  Make sure you know that it's never too late until you decide it or have sealed your own fate.
• Service - gotta observe and serve.  You can't really help someone when you have no idea what the person needs.
• Hispanic accent - it's always there and they always have heart-felt stories, and of sacrifices, etc.  The members they mentioned in the talks are the type of members we should be, but for whatever reason, we aren't.
• Non-canonical segway -  ever wondered what happened in between scriptural passages or what went through peoples' minds when there were dialogues and holes in the timeline?  Are we true to our faith?  Are we dedicated to our beliefs?  You gotta love the Holland narratives.
• Story time - listen closely to the life stories of Thomas S. Monson, there are lessons to be learned there. 
•  What it is to be Christian? - no, it's not a rhetorical question.  It has everything to do with choices in life.
• Any time spent in the temple is time well-spent.  Be sure to not neglect your other duties in your life.
• You can be inactive for 50 years - and still come back to the fold.  Never give up.  It's not over until it's all over.
• Seek learning by study and also by faith - do not have fear as well.
• Why do we do things for others when we are struggling? - what does it mean to be a disciple?  It's the doing and becoming.
• Testimonies alone will not be able to protect us - it is necessary for true conversion, but not the oil to our lamps.  Refer to the parable of the ten virgins.

This may seem like a crazy wall of text, but they are fairly easy to understand if you already have substantial background.  At any rate, it's been a good weekend.  I worked, went on a date, and enjoyed company of friends and roommates.  I shall write more, but this will have to do for now.

I Survived

 I think this is going to be my Halloween costume

This week has been absolutely insane!  I chose to write about it on a Friday night because there was too much happening in my life.  In addition, with General Conference being this weekend, I would like to have a more spiritual post some time around Sunday.

It's midterm season... and I haven't had the best time of my life.  MMBio441 proved to be harder than I thought.  I've been getting slightly above average on the past 2 tests.

The Chem223 didn't seen as bad, but it took a long time.  I sure hope I did well because I felt confident about the whole thing.

MMBio468, on the other hand, it seemed just as ridiculous as the Advanced MMBio one.  The worst part about a free response test is that I never know how much to write about it.

There happened to be some work drama this week as well, but it went well.  It was my fault in the first place; however, I had to justify my actions.  I'm just glad that Simon was understanding towards my situation and the fact that I wasn't the only one who tripped up in the whole situation.

A grateful moment came this week when Dr. Macedone extended the deadline for a homework I missed this week.  I missed it not because I didn't feel like doing it.  It was a combination of poor navigation, lack of sleep, and the fact that I didn't connect the dots.  Regardless, everything turned out all right in the end.

I've been getting data for my project in Dr. Berges's lab.  I think I'm gaining a better understanding in protocols used in labs.  Although I'm still not 100% sure of the why's behind every step, I'm getting there.  You gotta start somewhere, right?

Anyways, there was a lot of stress and there were moments when I thought my problems were solved, but things just keep pop up and hinder me at every point.

So, Jonathan and I have a Halloween costumes idea.  We'll keep you updated.

Next stop, more sleep!