When Life Gives You Lemons...

Master, the tempest is raging!

When life starts to mount pressure on you, one thing is certain: stress. I don't do well under stress even though I have ways to reduce and control the symptoms. The fact BYU does not have spring break contributes to the overload. I personally believe that nothing I learn in my major is conceptually difficult, but the sheer volume of information becomes daunting when I'm already feeling tired. Fatigue eventually leads to annoyance, and annoyance generally manifests as a perpetual anger that seems to radiate from my being.

Because of that, I focus less on the other aspects of life. I feel some angst when I attempt to clear the everlasting pile of dishes, or the tub of rubbish I should have sent out last night. Granted, it would be unfair to claim my housemates do absolutely nothing.

One thing I haven't been paying as much attention is spirituality. The weekly wall of tasks has transformed me into a churchgoer versus a sojourner of discipleship. I have zero desire to dig deeper into the scriptures. Zero desire to spend more time than necessary with people in the ward. That includes activities. I always jokingly exclaim that I hate people, but can't be bothered is probably a more accurate depiction of my current situation.

When the tempest was raging, the Apostles reached out to Jesus for help (Matt. 8:24; Luke 8:24; Mark 4:38). The Lord, who spent most of His time ministering to the people, was sleeping. I imagine He could have been tired, like any of us after a long day. (Although, He was probably fearless too!) Without any hesitation, He calmed the winds and put the disciples at ease. Even in a scenario where it was inconvenient, it didn't stop the Savior from performing His duties and demonstrate His compassion for common men.

What is the lesson here? Just do it? Not exactly. I do believe I'm supposed to maintain a standard when situation doesn't allow me to improve where I already stand. Or, maybe even try a little harder than I am at the moment. There are some time consuming tasks I could do without, but I am simply too selfish to give up right now.

We shall see how things evolve. I, for one, am glad the semester will conclude in less than four weeks.

As I Go Nearer to the Edge...

Class of 2014!

...OF GRADUATION SUCKAS!!!! No, seriously, I'm basically finished with university this April. I do have an internship from July to December before I can actually receive my diploma, but all the coursework will be completed by the end of this semester. I will be walking in the commencement next month!

It's quite an accomplishment, for me, at least. I made a lot of adjustments and learned important life lessons here at BYU. My parents definitely helped me out a ton financially, but I wasn't living off the bank of mom & dad. Of my entire BYU career, I've enrolled in classes in almost every Spring and Summer Terms, except in 2013, while working around 20 hours a week during the semesters. Last summer was definitely a magical time when all my roommates and I did whatever we wanted and all we had to worry about was working 40 hours a week to save money.

I know I haven't written much recently due to the excess amount of coursework. In addition, I was sick for a little over a week, which put me in a vulnerable position. Rest assured, I have returned with more updates!

Throughout my college days, I've changed much as a person and many of my interests changed as a result. Even my outlook on life changed because of the surprises life threw at me. Many sources claim that college is when you truly discover yourself. Well, I'm not here to disprove or agree entirely to that claim, but I can list a few things I came to notice over the years.

1. I'm more or less a cynic versus pessimist; although, I do have pessimistic tendencies. To be fair, I've been more optimistic than the '07 or '10 version.
2. I have been very fortunate with roommates. I never had any weird guys that creeped me out or tried to intimidate me in any way. (Then again, maybe it's because I have a temper myself.) In fact, I've learned much from the men I've became closed associated with over the years.
3. At the end of the day, the type of woman I like turns out to be someone I can have nice conversations with over the table. However, willing to participate in contact sports is an extreme plus.
4. There was once when I was passionate about someone and it ended badly. It brought out a whole new side of me.
5. I like the idea of being a bad ass grandpa one day; hence, I work out!
6. Not getting an A in class when some people manage to do so = I am not working hard enough or working smart enough.
7. I am really not that social. Perhaps it's an age thing? I find myself comfortable with a close circle of friends or colleagues and rarely stepping out of those bounds despite the fact that my Facebook will tell you otherwise.
8. I must be resilient because many people keep telling me how my schedule is definition of insanity. Well, great! I do have some ambition for the next decade.
9. I'm retro-gamer for the most part. Sure, I do look into new games, but nothing takes away from the classics I enjoy.

There are several things I wish I could have done before graduation, but I'll just have to pick them up later.

1. Study abroad: I don't think I'll ever be able to this again unless some strange opportunity comes along in future schooling.
2. Marriage: that's what BYU is about, right? Well, that's too bad. I'll have to look elsewhere.
3. Learn a new language: it's nice to be bilingual and have a good foundation of Spanish. I do wish I was assigned to a mission where I had to pick up a new language.
4. Joined more clubs: if I had more free time and didn't have to work as much, I would have loved the idea.
5. Intramural sports: see above.

I do have a few adventures lined up right after this semester. I'll have to let y'all in on it later!